I just am
Our spring event will feature Siri Garnaas and her book “I Just Am”. My five-year-old loved this book and we really connected with the idea of us being so much more than our feelings. Feelings are a big thing in our house. We are open with our emotions and work hard to name them and give them the space they need. Emotions are hard. Period. And I was raised in a time (and home) where “good” *shudder* emotions were welcomed and “bad” *shudder again* emotions were frowned upon at best and punished at worst. In my house now no emotions are labeled as “good” or “bad” because they aren’t those things. Emotions simply are. They are things that all of us have and feel and experience. I’ve never met a person old or young who didn’t feel disappointed when they couldn’t have something they really wanted. I’ve never met a person who didn’t feel happy after seeing someone they love who they haven’t seen for a while. I’ve never met a person who didn’t feel angry or hurt when something didn’t go their way. The *feelings* themselves are neither “good nor bad” but the way we express them can be helpful or harmful.
We are open with our emotions and work hard to name them and give them the space they need.
None of us start out knowing how to express our emotions and when we start having “big feelings” (as we call them in our house) sometimes we act in ways that are harmful (ie. hitting, biting, throwing things). It isn’t that children want to act out or harm themselves or others, it’s simply that they feel overwhelmed by these really big things that are happening in their small, very new bodies. I like to use the analogy of a new co-worker when dealing with children. If you had been doing a job for decades and someone new started and had lots of questions about how to approach the job or do certain things would you yell at them for asking or doing something wrong? Or would you understand that they were learning and didn’t have the skill set that you have after decades of experience? I would imagine the latter (and if not, please re-evaluate your whole life!). So why on earth would you treat your child any differently? They are simply a brand new team member who hasn’t been doing this whole life and feelings and emotions thing nearly as long as we adults have.
Our emotions are things we experience for a short period of time, rather than something we are.
Siri’s book is so great at addressing the idea and fact that our feelings and emotions are things that we experience for a short period of time, rather than something that we ARE. Our emotions are ever-changing, and even the pleasant feelings are short-lived and move through our bodies. If this sounds like something you or your kiddos could use some tools for or conversation starters around, then do we have just the things for you! For our activities for this event, we have chosen three things to help you and your child navigate these big feelings and help move through them.
